A Mothers Heart

I told Jarrod yesterday that I am really feeling emotional when I think about this time last year and about Colter turning one.  I cannot believe it(I know I say that in every months update but seriously ONE?!?)

It was a year ago today that I dropped Emma off at the groomer and headed to my regular every three day non stress test.  I had been having those frequently since being on bedrest and in and out of the hospital.  My plan that day was to have the test...do some errands...pick Emma up from groomer and go home and nap.  Colter had other plans!!  My Dr. was not happy with how the baby was reacting on the non stress test and sent me to an immediate biophysical ultrasound.  During this they look for the baby to do 7 things...Colter only did 2...hence he failed it.  I was sent to the hospital and the Dr on call there (who knew me and my history) said... "Enough of this craziness we are starting the induction today!").  Jarrod was a hunt with work and my parents were still in Florida!!  It was crazy!  Jarrod got the hospital and we were finally put in a real room.  The induction was started at 4:30pm on 3/26/12.  Needless to say I did not have Colter till 3/28/12 at 1:33 am.  Yes 34 hours later!!  In  that time my parents flew back to NJ and made it to PA in plenty of time!! 

Just talking or writing about all this brings back a flood of emotions.  I remember when they told me they were keeping me to induce I was so excited.  We were finally going to be parents.    After the long pregnancy and all the worrying I was ready to hold my baby boy. 

When Colter was born I got the job title I always wanted...MOMMY.   This year has certainly been full of ups and downs of being a first time mommy.  The first few months were especially hard but we survived and I can truly look back on this year with such joy.  I continue to be in awe that I am Colter's mommy.  I love that I am the person he looks to for comfort...that he still will cuddle with me...that when he is in an unfamiliar situation he looks to me! 

So as the his first birthday quickly approaches I will continue to remember this time last year...the joyful anticipation and the blessing that Colter has been in our lives.  I will probably cry a few times in the next few days and that's ok...I am his momma!!!